I Quit Law … For Now

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

It’s a cliche that really takes me back. I’m talking way back. I can see myself gleeful in my graduation gowns: high school. college. law school?

DSC_6822

Wow, my hair was SO straight! And short!

Law school graduation was a strange day for me. I was proud of what I had accomplished. I was tearing up because it had been such an ordeal.

Six months ago I decided I’d had enough. I didn’t know what would come next or where I was going, but it was one of those “you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here” moments. I knew that my time in the firm had to end. Continue reading

Advertisements

Don’t Fear the Spark Within You

INFJs are no stranger to broken hearts. A personality with a strongly held sense of idealism and a thirst for justice and equality living in this world is a personality that will always be a little bit heartbroken.

Underlying our quiet exterior, empathy and agreeable nature is a dangerous passion. Passion is what drives our pursuit of a more perfect world. It gives us something to live for. It keeps us up at night. It is a calling toward self-sacrifice and, if we’re not careful, significant self-neglect. Continue reading

Don’t Forget to Be Sensitive to Your Self, HSP

As a highly sensitive person, perhaps the greatest bane and boon in life is maintaining boundaries.

On one hand, the empathy of HSPs is one of their greatest strengths, permitting them to connect with and understand people. HSPs can often break past people’s walls. Many are capable of drawing out those who might normally be ignored or marginalized in ways that others cannot not.

On the other hand, to beA2E33C32B9 an HSP is to be constantly inundated with unwanted stimuli that it’s nearly impossible to shut out: coworkers, partners, strangers at Dunkin’ Donuts. Further, empathy often leads to compassion and can create considerable confusion for the HSP who may be hurt or offended by someone while simultaneously understanding the motivation or the misfortune that led the offender down such a path.

The stimulation can be endless and crippling, resulting in the draining of all of an HSP’s emotional resources.  If an HSP reaches a breaking point they may resort to creating physical boundaries to stand in for emotional ones. When that happens, the only option is to shut oneself up in a dark room and avoid the world until recovery.

photo-1438979315413-de5df30042a1

The Secret to Building Healthy Boundaries

Step #1: know yourself.

Step #2: embrace yourself.

These two steps don’t cure all ills, but they do give you the tools to create the space you need to survive and thrive. It is far too common for many HSPs to internalize the message that their sensitivity is some sort of defect or disability. They may feel that the best thing for them to do is to try to fix themselves, which involves permitting others to trample the boundaries that they need for health and wellbeing.

When HSPs know and embrace themselves, they can see when they need time away from the world and take it. They can turn their compassion and sensitivity inward to realize that those who don’t accept, respect or understand them — or worse who take advantage of them — don’t add to their lives and so seek to limit or eliminate the stimulus.

Knowing oneself can help an HSP understandphoto-1453127370373-a52c2f02c097 when connecting with others will actually help them.  Many HSPs feel both the good and the bad far more deeply. In light of this, an HSP who tunes their sensitivity in to their inner self can grow as a person by learning when and how to connect with others in meaningful ways.  They can learn when it is safe to open up.

The importance of erecting proper boundaries for anyone is quite great, but for the HSP, it simply cannot be overstated.  Although it would do no good for an HSP to completely isolate him- or herself from the world, the inner life of an HSP is an intricate and beautiful thing and so it is in their interest to create a gatekeeper to let in those things and people that add life, to guard against attacks and to usher out those things that have worn out their welcome.

Avoid Regret By Rewriting Your Self-Talk

Ask any good lawyer or photographer what’s most important to their work and the one thing they’ll agree on? Framing.

What we choose to focus on, where we point the audience’s attention is crucial.

No One Asks What Was Left Out of the Picture

You see, there’s always a whole lot more to the story than the one flower that’s in focus or that particular cobblestone walkway. There’s more to any individual than a couple of youthful indiscretions a litigator may play up for the jury.

When a story is told, the audience follows the direction of the lens.  Continue reading