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Mental Illness is… a Lifestyle?

It’s Mental Health Awareness Month and I’m not done talking. Stay tuned for my post on suicidal ideation.

Every time you read a blog post or watch a YouTube video about someone’s new diet or fitness regimen what do they always say?  “You see this change is gonna stick because this isn’t about just going on a diet. This is about a lifestyle.”

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I love working out, but GTFO fitspo!

When I was religious it was always “Christianity isn’t about religion, it’s about a relationship.”

Folks are always trying to prove that what they’re doing or experiencing isn’t some fad, they aren’t doing what they “should” and they’re not being forced to suffer against their will. No they’re doing this thing because this is what they love. Now this is who they are.

It Feels Like Mental Illness is My Lifestyle.

Continue reading

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Antidepressant Weight Gain

Don’t you just love weight loss articles that start with pictures of sweets?

Let’s Talk Antidepressant Side Effects

Since I started on Lexapro a year and a half ago and added Wellbutrin six months ago I’ve put on about 20 pounds. Thank goodness I’m an aspiring powerlifter and I still use my Fitbit or who knows how much more I would have gained.

I went to the doctor a few months (and pounds) ago and for the first time in my life I was told that I was a few of pounds overweight (according to the admittedly bogus BMI chart). I couldn’t believe my ears!

But I shouldn’t have been surprised.

This past winter I was trying to zip up my favorite black sheath and I guess I was too much woman for it. The zipper tore away from the seam of the dress and I found myself trapped. The zipper wouldn’t go up or down. I was stuck (kind of like this girl). I had to wake Fred to cut me free! Continue reading

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I Quit Law … For Now

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

It’s a cliche that really takes me back. I’m talking way back. I can see myself gleeful in my graduation gowns: high school. college. law school?

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Wow, my hair was SO straight! And short!

Law school graduation was a strange day for me. I was proud of what I had accomplished. I was tearing up because it had been such an ordeal.

Six months ago I decided I’d had enough. I didn’t know what would come next or where I was going, but it was one of those “you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here” moments. I knew that my time in the firm had to end. Continue reading

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You Can’t Do Everything. So What?

Perfectionism. If you struggle with depression it may be at the root of your terrible self talk. One minute you’re berating and belittling yourself for being imperfect. The next you’re imposing standards even a perfect person couldn’t live up to as punishment for your imperfection.

Worst of all, if you ever do live up to a standard you’ve set for yourself, you can’t just be proud of yourself. If you can reach the bar you know it’s time to raise it.

Clearly the bar was set too low.

If you’re a perfectionist, you likely push yourself with no regard for your limitations, sensitivities or weaknesses. You have something to prove. You’re never comfortable with your flaws.

If you’re a sensitive person and a perfectionist you may often push yourself until you’re nursing a cold and a migraine just waiting to lash out at the next person who asks you a simple question.

I went on like this for years.

I rapidly cycled between superhuman overachiever and burnt out slacker — sometimes within a week. It was killing me. Continue reading

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Can Marie Kondo Help Sensitive Souls Thrive?

2016-02-25 09.43.57Like many folks in the U.S. last year, I quickly jumped on the  The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up bandwagon. I found myself watching YouTuber after YouTuber talking about how they’d reorganized their life after reading the book.

I’ve always had a bit of split personality on these matters.

On one hand, as a child, I was so messy that you often couldn’t find the floor (I once read and agreed with a quote from Shia Labeouf stating that the floor is the single largest shelf in a home). On the other hand, when my mom came into my room, put all of my clothes in a pile and told me that whatever was on the floor when she came back would be donated I suddenly created a space fit for HGTV. I was always very good at cleaning. And I love a good purge. It’s my favorite means of catharsis. Continue reading